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The chinadoll monologues

What is the nature of music?
What constitutes good music?
Why is musescore such a great place to compose music and hear what others compose?
Why does this iPad keep trying to change my words? In the last question, instead of "compose" it tried to change it to "can moose"
What do mooses have to do with music composition?
Is there anything wrong with writing monologues?
Why do I write monologues?
Why do I use the word "monologues" instead of "monologue"
Why is monologue spelled "monologue" instead of "monolog"?
Why are there so many questions?
When am I going to stop writing these annoying questions?
Why are you still reading this if it is so annoying?
When will this end?
Never
Is that a question?

Useful musical notations

Useful musical notations with some translations as well

Accelerando – to gradually get faster since you are such a slow poke; 急いで、私は私の歯科医の予定に到達する必要があります

Andante – a walking tempo, temporarily, until you trip over a sixteenth note; 足にけいれんがありました

Basso continuo – a form of bass line from the baroque period, noted with numbers that indicate chords, probably in a random nonsensical fashion according to the whims of the composer; あなたは生の魚を食べたことがありますか

Berceuse – a lullaby, causing you to doze off and miss your cue. Then the conductor throws his or her baton at you, stabbing you through the heart, and forever after you mournfully haunt the concert hall; matur nuwun sewu lulla, aku wis wektu swell

Crescendo – growing as in a swelling of sound, short for "Criminy, close the blooming window"; te recomendamos a good restaurant

Expressive – play expressively, sometimes with tears, grimacing, and much gnashing of your teeth; Har du noen kippers, jeg er sulten

Fugue – contrapuntal, someone's contrary uncle; غوريلا قليلة في العالم

Gigue – a lively dance form from the baroque, and when the music stops, everyone yells "gique!"  and everyone falls down laughing: uma ingaphukile ungayilungisi

Giocoso – play the piece cheerfully or in a playful way, what other way is there? আমার পায়ের আঙ্গুল ব্যাথা, এটা কিছু মাখন করা

Leggiero – lightly without force, also a type of linguini; hvis du kommer til at trykke mig på skulderen, gør det forsigtigt, tak. Jeg er hele fra mudderbrydning i aftes

Legno – for string players to use wooden side of bow to hit the strings, and sometimes the heads of other players; fass mein Bein nicht an NEIN!

Mezzo – half, what the conductor says you will be paid for a performance; Hatagan ko ikaw niini nga donut

Passacaglia – baroque dance form with a short melodic phrase, usually in the bass, and sometimes in the basement; 海龜是很棒的寵物

Poco a poco – little by little, you poka me, I poka you to the tune of a polka; ти ме тласкаш и аз ще те съборя

Rallentando – gradually slower, since we get tired during a performance such as one of Wagner's 8 hour opera performances; когда я становлюсь старше, я становлюсь медленнее

Ritenuto – slow down, obviously a curse word in Italian meaning "addle-brained musician who can't stay on the beat" but few will admit it ; Εγώ θα puke εάν δεν οδηγείτε πιο αργά

Rubato – play with freedom, deviate from strict tempo to get more expressive playing, also another curse word, loosely translated "you are a fat pig"; onde fica o banheiro?

Scherzo – joke, fast light-hearted, the sound an Italian makes when he or she sneezes (I'm part Italian so I am allowed to do Italian jokes); La tua faccia sembra un formaggio ammuffito

Sarabande – in baroque, a slow, genteel dance in triple time, also a small musical group led by the famous singer, Sara; Ég stakk upp á hundinn þinn

Triple time – three beats to a measure like ¾, also, multitasking, doing three things at once like drinking a soda, texting and driving causing you to rear end a truck; Эмнэлэг хаана байна вэ?

Banana Recipe Contest

Yeah, another contest, but not necessarily with musical compositions. A number of banana recipes have already been posted in the comments to "banana, signature edition" and you are invited to submit your own unique/strange/fascinating banana recipes in this new contest. First, second, third, and honorable banana mention awards will be given. No rules ('rules? we don't need no stinking rules'). So let the merriment begin. The contest will end January 1, 2015.

The double bass

A double bass goes to a psychiatrist.
Double bass: Doctor, someone told me I sound depressed.
Doctor: Let's hear it!
Double bass: G - D - ,A - 'E.
The psychiatrist's face darkens.
Doctor: I refer you to a good friend of mine. He will operate on you.
Double bass: And what will become of me then?
Doctor: A cello, a viola and a violin.

Jazz standards transcription plan

Below are song titles from a "transcription plan" that was being pursued by this group in 2017-2018. The idea was to take the top 100 jazz standards appearing on the jazzstandards.com list and provide lead sheets. The jazzstandards.com list was  compiled statistically, and is ordered by frequency of recording (see the site for more details).

As of this writing, lead sheets for about 2/3 of the top 100 songs on the Jazzstandards.com list have been submitted to the group. (The full jazzstandards.com list includes 1,000 tunes, in case you were wondering.) At the bottom of this message are the titles that have not been done.

You are welcome to work on the remaining titles, or any other titles considered to be jazz standards (or popular song standards from the classic jazz/swing era--roughly 1910 to 1960). If your song isn't one of the 1,000 songs on the full jazzstandards.com list, it's probably not what most musicians and jazz fans would consider a jazz standard. That doesn't mean it's not a great tune, but in most cases it means the tune is not widely performed. (Perhaps we need a Musescore group dedicated to overlooked and under-appreciated  jazz tunes and traditional popular songs.) We will try to be as inclusive as possible when adding submissions to the group, while still keeping the focus on tunes that you might hear played and sung in jam sessions or on gigs by relatively mainstream jazz performers.

You are also welcome to submit improved versions of any songs that have already been done for the group. Perhaps a song previously submitted is missing lyrics, or missing the introductory verse, or has chord changes that are not widely used by musicians in performance. So far, the group has not been flooded by multiple versions of any given song--if we were to get, say, 10 charts for "I Got Rhythm," we might need to pick the best 2 or 3 for the main listing, but currently that's not an issue.

Note that if you are starting a new chart, you may save yourself some time by working with an existing "Wikifonia Archive" chart and adding your own corrections, improved formatting, and missing sections / lyrics as needed. See the following discussion for more details: https://musescore.com/groups/jazz-standards-leadsheets/discuss/5019538

To add a score to the group's collection, open the score in Musescore.com or find it in your account's list of scores, click the "three dots" action icon at the top right, and then choose type in "Jazz Standards Lead Sheets" to search for and choose this group. You can then leave a comment here with the song title and the URL for the link to let us know you've added a new score. If your chart has notable features or corrections, add a note about it when you post, and consider adding the details to the comments on the score page as well.

Jazz standards not currently in the collection of this group (ranking from jazzstandards.com)


19. In a Sentimental Mood
25. On Green Dolphin Street
26. Tenderly
53. You Don't Know What Love Is
69. Lover Come Back to Me
72. More Than You Know
74. Just One of Those Things
79. Polka Dots and Moonbeams
80. Easy Living
81. Pennies from Heaven
82. I Didn't Know What Time It Was
84. It Don't Mean a Thing
87. Star Eyes
89. Alone Together
90. Just You, Just Me
92. Things Ain't What They Used to Be
93. Do Nothin' Till You Hear from Me
94. Blue Moon
95. I Surrender Dear
96. You Stepped Out of a Dream
97. My One and Only Love
98. 'S Wonderful!

Getting chord symbol playback, manually

Lead sheets are of course disappointing to listen to in MuseScore because there is no built-in facility for generating accompaniment based on the chord symbols.  Programs like Impro-Visor, iReal Pro, and others excel at this, and maybe some day MuseScore will have this ability.  Meanwhile, I have created a resource you might find useful.  It's a "cheat sheet" score with typical jazz piano voicings (as well as more generic voicings for folk/pop etc) for a wider variety of chords.  Just add a piano part to your lead sheet (using Edit / Instruments), copy and paste from the "cheat sheet" to the piano, then mark the piano invisible (also in Edit / Instruments).

Here is the "cheat sheet":



You can download it here: https://musescore.com/marcsabatella/scores/5236325