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Someone help!

I know this isn't what this group is for, but I need some help with my GCSE work. I have this composition to do, and I need some feedback. I have about 2 months to write it, but I'm handing it in for teacher feedback in 1 month. If you have the time, please take a look! I appreciate anything anyone has to say! Thank you all so much! <3

Score is here:
 
https://musescore.com/user/26832294/scores/5712405

musescore college

wouldnt it be nice if musescore had a group devoted to educating members on music theory, arranging, orchestration...
yeah, I know that some high school classes use musescore for teaching music but that isnt exactly what I mean here. I mean a place totally here at musescore where members could make intelligent critical educated helpful comments about music.
there are certainly members who are very well educated in music who could help members out with their music, exchange helpful comments, a place where people could actually learn about music rather than the hit or miss experimentation alot of us do. I know I am just talking into the wind, but still, sigh.....oh well.....