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The chinadoll monologues

What is the nature of music?
What constitutes good music?
Why is musescore such a great place to compose music and hear what others compose?
Why does this iPad keep trying to change my words? In the last question, instead of "compose" it tried to change it to "can moose"
What do mooses have to do with music composition?
Is there anything wrong with writing monologues?
Why do I write monologues?
Why do I use the word "monologues" instead of "monologue"
Why is monologue spelled "monologue" instead of "monolog"?
Why are there so many questions?
When am I going to stop writing these annoying questions?
Why are you still reading this if it is so annoying?
When will this end?
Is that a question?

Useful musical notations

Useful musical notations with some translations as well

Accelerando – to gradually get faster since you are such a slow poke; 急いで、私は私の歯科医の予定に到達する必要があります

Andante – a walking tempo, temporarily, until you trip over a sixteenth note; 足にけいれんがありました

Basso continuo – a form of bass line from the baroque period, noted with numbers that indicate chords, probably in a random nonsensical fashion according to the whims of the composer; あなたは生の魚を食べたことがありますか

Berceuse – a lullaby, causing you to doze off and miss your cue. Then the conductor throws his or her baton at you, stabbing you through the heart, and forever after you mournfully haunt the concert hall; matur nuwun sewu lulla, aku wis wektu swell

Crescendo – growing as in a swelling of sound, short for "Criminy, close the blooming window"; te recomendamos a good restaurant

Expressive – play expressively, sometimes with tears, grimacing, and much gnashing of your teeth; Har du noen kippers, jeg er sulten

Fugue – contrapuntal, someone's contrary uncle; غوريلا قليلة في العالم

Gigue – a lively dance form from the baroque, and when the music stops, everyone yells "gique!"  and everyone falls down laughing: uma ingaphukile ungayilungisi

Giocoso – play the piece cheerfully or in a playful way, what other way is there? আমার পায়ের আঙ্গুল ব্যাথা, এটা কিছু মাখন করা

Leggiero – lightly without force, also a type of linguini; hvis du kommer til at trykke mig på skulderen, gør det forsigtigt, tak. Jeg er hele fra mudderbrydning i aftes

Legno – for string players to use wooden side of bow to hit the strings, and sometimes the heads of other players; fass mein Bein nicht an NEIN!

Mezzo – half, what the conductor says you will be paid for a performance; Hatagan ko ikaw niini nga donut

Passacaglia – baroque dance form with a short melodic phrase, usually in the bass, and sometimes in the basement; 海龜是很棒的寵物

Poco a poco – little by little, you poka me, I poka you to the tune of a polka; ти ме тласкаш и аз ще те съборя

Rallentando – gradually slower, since we get tired during a performance such as one of Wagner's 8 hour opera performances; когда я становлюсь старше, я становлюсь медленнее

Ritenuto – slow down, obviously a curse word in Italian meaning "addle-brained musician who can't stay on the beat" but few will admit it ; Εγώ θα puke εάν δεν οδηγείτε πιο αργά

Rubato – play with freedom, deviate from strict tempo to get more expressive playing, also another curse word, loosely translated "you are a fat pig"; onde fica o banheiro?

Scherzo – joke, fast light-hearted, the sound an Italian makes when he or she sneezes (I'm part Italian so I am allowed to do Italian jokes); La tua faccia sembra un formaggio ammuffito

Sarabande – in baroque, a slow, genteel dance in triple time, also a small musical group led by the famous singer, Sara; Ég stakk upp á hundinn þinn

Triple time – three beats to a measure like ¾, also, multitasking, doing three things at once like drinking a soda, texting and driving causing you to rear end a truck; Эмнэлэг хаана байна вэ?

Banana Recipe Contest

Yeah, another contest, but not necessarily with musical compositions. A number of banana recipes have already been posted in the comments to "banana, signature edition" and you are invited to submit your own unique/strange/fascinating banana recipes in this new contest. First, second, third, and honorable banana mention awards will be given. No rules ('rules? we don't need no stinking rules'). So let the merriment begin. The contest will end January 1, 2015.

Free Classical Online Guitar Course Delcamp

Hello everyone,
From Wednesday, 6 September 2017, I will be starting a new series of lessons corresponding to the first seven years at music school (D01, D02, D03, D04, D05, D06, D07).

My aim is to help isolated amateurs who don't have the opportunity to have a teacher. I ask my forum students to provide help and encouragement to one another. My role as teacher will be to give you a reasonable goal, offering you, while respecting copyright, a repertoire with the greatest possible musical value. I will be illustrating my lessons with audio and video examples for each piece or exercise. Unfortunately I shall only rarely be able to reply to your questions through lack of available time.

Registration for courses at the first three levels (D01, D02, D03) is available to anyone who has posted 2 messages on the forum: a message of introduction and a message requesting registration into the students group.
Registration for the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh year courses (D04, D05, D06, D07) is available only to members who have already posted 20 messages on the forum.

Before accepting a new student, I require these four conditions to be met:
1. You must be registered on the forum with your real forename and surname. To change your username, post a request in the forum: "Your messages to the site administrator".
To register for the lessons and to confirm that you have satisfied the conditions set for participation in my courses, use the thread you are in now: "Conditions for participating in the lessons".

2. You must publicize the 2017-2018 course sessions. Publicize the lessons, for instance, by putting up a notice in the window of your local baker or guitar store. Publicize them on FaceBook, Twitter, Youtube, discussion groups, your blog or website. The more students there are, the more effective the mutual help will be. Mention the lessons to your guitarist friends in conversation or by email.
Here is some suitable wording:
Free classical guitar lessons on the internet
Lessons given by Jean-François Delcamp
The lessons will begin in September 2017 and finish in June 2018.
These classical guitar lessons correspond to the first sixth years at music school.
The lessons are free. They are aimed at the isolated amateur who does not have the opportunity of having a teacher.
The conditions for registration are available on the forum:

Here is a poster in PDF format:
Here is a poster in JPG format:

3. You must undertake to post the recordings required for at least 7 out of the 10 lessons of the course. If for some reason a student is temporarily unable to keep up with the course, he should let the other students know and catch up on the missed lesson or lessons as soon as possible. If the interruption goes on for several months, the student should alert a moderator of the student group so that the moderator can keep the student list up to date. A student can follow more than one course at different levels on condition that he undertakes to post the recordings required for at least 7 of the 10 lessons of each course. A student may change courses during the year, but in this case he must start by catching up on the lessons of his new course in the proper order. A student who does not complete the course may repeat the same level the following year, but must begin again from lesson 01 of that level and submit new recordings of the required pieces.

4. You must undertake to listen to the recordings posted by the other students at the same level and comment on their work. This involves posting at least one message per week containing encouragement, constructive criticisms, or advice.

Students can ask for help on the forum at any time, whether in connection with the lessons or the working of the forum in general.

chords Posture on guitar

The posture that we mean here is the placement of the position of the finger in the area of the finger board. Postures Visually can be imitated and classified harmoniously. The left hand posture on the guitar identifies harmony movements. In the context of instrument technique the effectiveness and efficiency of the introduction repertoires are related to posture flexibility.
The basic posture with the 1-3-7 tone pattern confirms the gender triad directly. The term gender refers to minor, minor, seventh dominant and half dim. Neighbor tones are also introduced, so that position analysis and harmony can interact directly.