Hey, so first I wanna say sorry because I haven't been on musescore for a few months and now I'm just telling you all my problems all of a sudden, but life has been really tough lately. Basically, for the last six months or so, I've suffered from depression and anxiety. I have medication and counselling, but I really feel like I'm just not getting better. And this whole thing has been really trying on my faith. And I know that our trials cause us to grow, and that God can use everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, and even during this time, I have seen God really growing me and setting me free from things, but... It's just really hard. A lot of the time I don't know if God is there at all, and I feel completely bound by my anxiety. I'm so afraid all the time, there are so many things I'm too scared to do, and I really struggle with obsession and perfectionsim. I keep trying to apply this perfectionism to my faith, which on one level I understand is stupid because God doesn't expect us to be perfect, and He makes us righteous by His grace, but deeper down I just have these ridiculous expectations and I keep making all these hoops for myself to jump through but I'll never be good enough and I keep trying to be good enough on my own and even though I know God doesn't expect that of me I just can't seem to break free of it. I also have been putting my faith in a lot of things other than Jesus, and I know on the surface level of my mind that they will let me down, and they can't give me the peace and joy that Jesus can, but on a deeper level I can't break free of these thoughts, and I just feel so bound to them. And I'm just so confused, and I can't seem to find God, or His plan for me, or anything, and so often I just want to give up, because I feel it's never gonna get better, that I'll never be good enough, that I'll never get close to God again. So, I'm sorry, I know this is a lot all of a sudden, but please, I really need prayer.