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Comment on this piece?

Hey there ! I am trying to learn to compose (so far, I use Concise Introduction to tonal harmony), and this is what I did after reading the chapter on "Sentences and Other Phrase Types". 
 
https://musescore.com/progranma/chapt22b

Could you tell me what you think please? Also do you have an other book to suggest? I would especially love to learn how to write for drums ? (like how to do interesting rhythms?)

Thank you !

My First Transcription!

I've finally uploaded my first transcription, after loads of work and thinking and fear of the word COPYRIGHT. It's Uragiri No Yuuyake or Treacherous Sunset, the first opening from the anime - Durarara!!. Please do let me know if there are any mistakes with this arrangement, other than the minor bass deviations and the liberty I took with the melody. Feedback is appreciated.
Here's the link to the arrangement: https://musescore.com/user/24877591/scores/5908970

My second transcription - COLORS (from Code Geass): https://musescore.com/user/24877591/scores/5908984

-www.jishnuvenkataraman.com